For once, at a loss for words

Rare are the moments when I find myself at a loss for words. But I have not been able to write on this blog for several days now because of a tragedy that afflicted a Brooklyn Community last week.

I am a person of very strong faith and think of myself as an optimist. My own life's hardships and struggles have not served to diminish my belief in a loving God. In fact, my faith in the tender loving care of our Creator for humankind has been strengthened by the incidents of adversity that I have faced, struggled with, and overcome.

Something about this tragedy, however, wounded my soul and broke my heart.

One morning, an 8 year old boy left his school in Brooklyn to walk to a street corner a few blocks away where he was to meet his mother. The boy had been begging his parents to let him walk home by himself. He was just a few short days away from his 9th birthday and wanted to be a bit more independent. His parents struggled with the decision, but being good parents, came up with a compromise that would satisfy all of them. The boy would walk part of the way home by himself along the numbered streets and avenues -- a total of 7 blocks. Those of us who live in the NYC metro area know that 7 "Brooklyn blocks" is not a long way. Plus, the streets are numbered and provide numerical direction, as it were.

Tragically, the boy forgot that he needed to walk one avenue over before walking "downtown" toward his mom. So while his mom waited for him, he was encountering a man who would not only not help him find his way, but would brutally murder him.

The link to one of the NY Times stories about the boy and his family is here. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/14/nyregion/thousands-mourn-boy-killed-in-brooklyn.html?_r=1&scp=5&sq=leiby&st=cse

Now, I am savvy enough about my own psyche (most of the time) to "get" why this story affected me so. If you've read my previous post, you know that I am in the throes of sending my only son off to college. He is a bright, secure, savvy young man who will do very well at his chosen school in Boston. Even so, my feelings of loss and confusion at "letting go" are profound. So reading the heartbreaking account of a mother who is suffering the unfathomable sorrow of losing her child in such an evil manner after allowing him to exercise some independence really hits home with me.

As I noted in my introductory post on this blog, I am not a theologian. My defense of my faith in God is based mostly on my own personal experiences of God in this world and at work in my life. I am also assured of God's existence because of the divine that I encounter every day in other people and in nature.

 I have to say, however, that I could not write about spirituality in this space for the last week because I was in mourning for a boy I have never met. And in my sorrow for - and over-identification with - his mother, I became preoccupied with the fact that in this imperfect world evil sometimes shows itself in the most startlingly horrific ways. Try as we might to plan for emergencies or obey safety regulations or protect our loved ones, sometimes bad things happen that are beyond our control.

God doesn't cause the bad things to happen. But the world that God created is not perfect. It can't be. If we believe that there is only one God, one central life force from which all things come -- including people -- then we must believe that there can only be one perfect God and one perfect paradise. That's what perfect is.

Our creator did, however form us in his or her own image. That's why we have free will. If God intervened or interfered every time something went askew, we would not be creatures who reflect the intricacies of God's "being." We would be marionettes in a cosmic puppet show.*

Having said this, though, this believe of mine does not protect me from becoming hurt and confused by the shocking murder of a young boy; or by the famine that is now ravaging Somalia; or the ongoing plight of the people in earthquake stricken Haiti. But the response of humans to those tragedies and disasters helps me recover and heal.

So, I feel better now and that's why I can write. My faith in God and in the innate goodness in most people has been shored up by goodness I have witnessed in the last few days: volunteers working to rescue beautiful animals from certain death at filled-to-the-brim shelters; the ongoing dedication of an interfaith group that is working to provide respite and dignity to homeless men; the joy and celebration of summer and life evident in the parks and plazas of Boston where families and folks gathered for picnics and play and refreshment; and in reading the story of the Brooklyn boy's family, who took time out from their period of mourning -- shiva -- to observe the Sabbath so they could worship the God they love and trust; I have read that in that time they gave thanks to the Creator for letting them have their beautiful boy with them for 9 years.

There are no words and no hyperbole strong enough to describe the love and respect that I feel for them. I pray that the peace of God that surpasses all understanding be with them as they go forward.

* This explanation from Rabbi Simmons helped me a bit; http://judaism.about.com/library/3_askrabbi_o/bl_simmons_murder.htm